The Title is a Dad Joke
So, most of you know “Murphy’s Law”: if anything can go wrong, it will. If you took physics in school, you definitely know “Newton’s Law” of inertia and momentum: a body at rest wishes to stay at rest and a body at motion wishes to stay at motion. If you have taken university-level chemistry, you may remember “Avogadro’s Law”: equal volumes of gas, at equal temperature and pressure, contain equal numbers of atoms. Do you know “Cole’s Law”? It’s cabbage salad. (There is the Dad Joke. I am blessed with a dad who is amazing at dad jokes; I am doubly blessed to share this one with you.)
Mr. Food It Yourself loves coleslaw. You can absolutely DIY a week’s worth of the stuff with minimal investment of time and money. This is the stuff DIYets are made of: cheap, easy, delicious, available, and customizable. Take a look!
The base of any coleslaw is the dressing. You can buy coleslaw dressing, but the ingredients are so mundane you probably have them on hand.
- 1/4 cup vinegar (I use apple cider vinegar, because it is what I have, but wine vinegar, white vinegar, or malt vinegar are all just fine. Use what you have.)
- 1/4 cup lemon juice. (Use the stuff in the bottle. Nobody will know.)
- 1 cup mayonnaise
- 2 tablespoons white sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- ground black pepper to taste
In theory, you could add celery seed, caraway seed, mustard (prepared or dry), paprika…this is the first place where you can customize. Use what you like in your coleslaw. Just dump all that into a large bowl and give it a good stir. I have this amazing red bowl with a cover which was a wedding gift.
Now, we must consider the veggies. The one consistent vegetable used in coleslaw is cabbage. I use green onion (scallions) and cabbage. For the volume of dressing described above I find a 2.5 lb cabbage is just about right. Mr. Food It Yourself can not eat raw carrot, but you can add carrot if you wish. You can use another type of onion. You can add celery, pear, apple, cucumber, kelp, or kale. This is your food. Make it with what you enjoy.
I slice things thinly with a sharp knife. If a grater is more convenient for you, use that. Dump it all into the bowl with the dressing and give it a thorough toss. Tongs are the perfect tool for that. Move the tub of slaw to the refrigerator, and you are done.
Coleslaw, like many foods, tastes better the day after preparation. An overnight in the refrigerator will allow the ingredients to mix and mingle and become the best they can be. Mr. Food It Yourself will enjoy portions of this marinated salad all week.
It is The Height of Summer in central New England. Picnics, cook-outs, and all manner of summer parties consider coleslaw a required dish. What dishes are you savoring? How are you DIYing dishes you could easily make with convenience components? Share in the comments!
